Wifehood

     Wifehood???? Is that a Word? Well on July 1, 1995 I became a Wife. What a whirlwind of a time. We got married and moved back to Pa. I had a job but my hubby did not. He was moving to a new city, a new apartment, no friends or family nearby. A whole new life for him. And so our Journey began. It was exciting to be together in our first place together. We were blessed to have been given bedroom furniture and many wonderful wedding gifts to furnish our place.  He found a job and we settled in to our church. There were many days of laughter and happiness but also many days of anger, sadness and tears. One thing that we struggled with and still do to some degree is communication. It is difficult to express yourself and say what's on your mind with out fearing that you will be judged or criticized. My hubby had  a temper that I would soon discover scared me and intimidated me.  There were many arguments and confrontations that caused me to pause and wonder if I had made a Mistake. There were many things said that were hurtful and spiteful on both of our parts. Things that would still sting even years later.  After being married for about 5 yrs things had gotten pretty bad and I decided I didn't want to be married anymore. We slept in separate bedrooms for about 3 weeks. We went to counseling and things seemed to get better. There would be many more years of arguing,disagreeing and even frightful moments but GOD never left me.  It is because of Him and His Mercy and Love that I was able to stay and work on our Marriage.  God is the Ultimate healer and knows what we need. I made a decision to work on my marriage and be the wife I knew God wanted me to be. I prayed for Love unconditional for my Husband. There were many days I didn't like him let alone Love him. But God gave me the Mercy and Love that He knew I needed to be a Faithful wife and companion. I could've said I QUIT like sooo many people do but I chose to stay and make it work. God has continued to work in both our hearts and minds. We have grown as a couple but more importantly as friends and lovers.  He is my best friend and I KNOW he accepts me for All my faults and insecurities.  Those fears and feelings of Anger, hurt and resentment have been taken away and replaced with God's love, mercy, forgiveness and Grace. Without God this relationship would not have lasted  for the past 16 yrs. God has shown me how to be a Godly wife, friend, helper and companion. I thank Him every day for His faithfulness and for my Hubby loving me:)