Motherhood

Ok I have to confess...Today may not be the best day to write about my kids. We are having yet another snow day that turned out to be a Non-snow day. They should've gone to school! Oh well...Spring will be here soon enough! My hubby and I had been married for 2 years when I became pregnant the first time. I was sooo excited! I had waited my whole life for this moment! I was about 5 weeks along when I woke up one Sunday morning with cramps and when I went to the bathroom I passed a Clot. I was devestated.  We didn't really talk about it...and life went on. Another year went by and then I became pregnant a 2nd time. I was cautiously optimistic. One month went by..another month went by...Then toward the end of the 3rd month I started having cramps and alittle bleeding.  I had heard this could be normal in some woman as the uterus expands as the baby grows. I remember going to the mall that day and not feeling too well. I came home and made spaghetti for supper. I ate supper and watched tv before going to bed. I woke up around 1am with severe pain that felt like someone was stabbing me in my stomach. I thought this isn't right...Not again!!!
     I woke My hubby and told him how bad it was! He was scared for me and drove like a maniac down route 11 to the hospital ER. By that time I was screaming and wrenching in pain. They took me back and ran some tests and did a ultrasound. They discovered I had a Tubal pregnancy and my left tube was about to burst! If I had waited just an hr longer it would've burst and I could've died. I just remember thinking this isn't happening. It all happened so fast...before I knew it I was going to sleep and when I woke up I discovered they had to take my tube out. The embryo had grown too big and it was too dangerous so they took the tube.  I was devastated once again!!! I went home and it took about 2 weeks to heal physically.  Little did I know it would take the rest of my life to heal emotionally.  I don't know that I will ever recover from those losses. I take comfort in knowing that I will see my babies in Heaven some day...God has promised me that!
     As time went on we continued with Foster Parenting and had several kids in our home.  We took a break for about 1 1/2 yrs and then decided to change agencies.  Our second client we got with our new agency was our son Christopher.  He was 5 yrs old and in Hershey Med Child Psyche unit. He had been tossed around in Foster homes for four months and nobody could handle him.  He was a bright eyed,  blond haired,  energetic little boy.  We instantly fell in love with him and decided we would take him home.  He was diagnosed with ADHD, Autism Spectrum disorder and neglect.  He had the sweetest spirit and I quickly fell in love. Little did I know the challenges and trials that would follow. We enrolled Chris in early intervention at the IU Preschool. He loved riding the bus to school and had wonderful teachers and staff. We were told when we got Chris that he was retarded and would never read or write. That's all we needed to hear and the adventure began...The adventure to prove them wrong...  and that's what we did!!!!The following year Chris enrolled in Kindergarten and was assigned to a full-time Learning support class.  His teacher Mrs.Merrill was the most important factor in his progress in school and the learning process. I give her all the credit for helping Chris to become the student he did. Before long he was reading and writing and talking non-stop. Oh yeah when we got Chris he only spoke 5 words, wasn't potty trained and  every man he saw was Daddy.  By First grade he was reading fluently,Speaking and understanding. We were sooo pleased with his progress. He had sensory therapy to address some sensory issues, had OT and hearing support because we also found out he is completely deaf in his right ear.  The next three years would be the calmest and best of our time with Chris. On February 14, 2005 We adopted Christopher and he became Christopher Carver Magee. Finally I had a child...I was a Mother....To be continued....
    

Wifehood

     Wifehood???? Is that a Word? Well on July 1, 1995 I became a Wife. What a whirlwind of a time. We got married and moved back to Pa. I had a job but my hubby did not. He was moving to a new city, a new apartment, no friends or family nearby. A whole new life for him. And so our Journey began. It was exciting to be together in our first place together. We were blessed to have been given bedroom furniture and many wonderful wedding gifts to furnish our place.  He found a job and we settled in to our church. There were many days of laughter and happiness but also many days of anger, sadness and tears. One thing that we struggled with and still do to some degree is communication. It is difficult to express yourself and say what's on your mind with out fearing that you will be judged or criticized. My hubby had  a temper that I would soon discover scared me and intimidated me.  There were many arguments and confrontations that caused me to pause and wonder if I had made a Mistake. There were many things said that were hurtful and spiteful on both of our parts. Things that would still sting even years later.  After being married for about 5 yrs things had gotten pretty bad and I decided I didn't want to be married anymore. We slept in separate bedrooms for about 3 weeks. We went to counseling and things seemed to get better. There would be many more years of arguing,disagreeing and even frightful moments but GOD never left me.  It is because of Him and His Mercy and Love that I was able to stay and work on our Marriage.  God is the Ultimate healer and knows what we need. I made a decision to work on my marriage and be the wife I knew God wanted me to be. I prayed for Love unconditional for my Husband. There were many days I didn't like him let alone Love him. But God gave me the Mercy and Love that He knew I needed to be a Faithful wife and companion. I could've said I QUIT like sooo many people do but I chose to stay and make it work. God has continued to work in both our hearts and minds. We have grown as a couple but more importantly as friends and lovers.  He is my best friend and I KNOW he accepts me for All my faults and insecurities.  Those fears and feelings of Anger, hurt and resentment have been taken away and replaced with God's love, mercy, forgiveness and Grace. Without God this relationship would not have lasted  for the past 16 yrs. God has shown me how to be a Godly wife, friend, helper and companion. I thank Him every day for His faithfulness and for my Hubby loving me:)

The GUY......

     In the Summer of 1994 I headed to Peekskill, NY to work as the Assistant Director of Learning Partners, an inner city summer recreational/learning program. The Director was a friend that I had met during my college summers working at a Christian Camp.  He invited me for the summer and I accepted the position.  I went to NY not knowing anyone but him. I quickly met many people and became involved in a church and small group. My Friend had a Best friend who would come into the center on his days off to volunteer with the kids. I still remember the first time I saw this GUY. He was dressed in a Harley T-shirt, Jean shorts,black combat boots, long hair to his shoulders and an earring in his ear. Hmmmm...I thought...This should be interesting. Who was this GUY and what was his story??? Well...I soon would find out and my life would never be the same:)
     That day, This guy gave his testimony/ life story to the kids.  I remember thinking hmmmm....very interesting...but didn't really think much  more about it. A week or so went by and the program continued. I developed some very special relationships with the kids and also fellow staffers. One of those staffers ended up being a bridesmaid in my wedding But hold on I am getting ahead of myself...Soooo as the weeks continued my friend invited me to his softball game. Not only did he invite me to his game but he told me that His Friend,this Mysterious GUY, was looking forward to me coming. Little to my knowledge did I know that he told this Guy I was anticipating him coming to the game...Long story short...OUR Friend Set US UP,LOL.
     We began getting together with Our friend and his wife, watching movies,dinners, going to Bible Study, Playing Volleyball together...The Whole time this guy was engaged to another girl. He knew it was a relationship that He shouldn't be in but wouldn't listen to the advice of anyone he was close to. So It was up to me to show him THE LIGHT!!!!LOL. And boy did I show him! He broke off the engagement and we began dating.  The Summer ended and I decided I wanted to stay in NY to see where this new relationship was heading. I took on a job as a  live in Nanny for a family That my friend knew. My relationship with this GUY continued and we became inseparable. We spent many hours talking, going to Bible Study/Small group, and hanging out with friends. In October I brought him home to Pa for
a weekend visit and to meet the Parents. He would later tell me that that weekend is when he knew he was going to marry me. When he saw me in my Ratty old pajamas he knew I WAS the one,lol. We still laugh about that to this day.
     SOOOOO In November at my Grandparents 50th Wedding Anniversary Party in front of my Whole family...HE PROPOSED to me....It was the Sweetest thing ever and of course I said YES!!!!!! We spent the next nine months getting to know each other and planning our wedding. Not that there was a whole lot to come up with because like most girls I had my wedding planned in my mind since I was a little girl.  This was the Beginning of the Beginning of the rest of My life. Little did I know all of what God had in store for me in the years to come...and so my story continues....
    

The beginning...My story, My Life

     I have decided to write this Blog after many people telling me to write a book.  I have never considered myself a writer.  My sole purpose of this Blog is to hopefully be an encouragement to others.  To share my life experiences. My experiences as a wife, a mother, a friend, and most importantly a WOG...Woman of God!
     I was born on a warm August night in 1971.  The third oldest of what would be seven children.  My Parents raised me in the church. We would go to Sunday school,Sunday am service, Sunday pm and Wednesday night services. Pretty much if the church was open we were there. As a child my main purpose for going to church was to see my friends and play with them...and to sing. I loved to sing. I attended many kids activities and when I was Nine I attended Sleep Away church camp for the first time. That week at Camp would change my life forever!!!! I asked Jesus into my heart at evening Chapel one night. That was the Beginning of a new life in Christ!
     The next several years were filled with many family adventures,Church events, and typical childhood memories. Riding Bikes, Swimming in the Lake, Running through the Corn fields, Kick the Can. Birthday Parties, sleepovers, Christmas', Camping trips. So many memories that shaped and formed me for the rest of my life.
     As a teenager, I continued to develop relationships with many old friends and many new friends...And of course My interest in boys grew stronger and stronger. I guess you could say I was boy crazy, as most teenage girls are.  There were several boys who got my attention and one in particular that had my heart for a long time and will always have a small part of it. In High school I played sports and was involved in the music program. I developed my love for singing and music.  I also continued my love for softball and volleyball.  My senior year of HS my parents moved about 2 hrs away.  I moved with them leaving everything and everyone I had known for the last 17 yrs. I was excited to meet new friends and experience something different.  However after 3 weeks I realized I needed to go home. I had to go back and graduate with my friends.  Thankfully I had a Wonderful teacher who took me in and let me stay with her to finish my education with my friends.  That last year I had alot of independence and made alot of bad choices.  By the end of my Sr year I had come to the end of my rope and new that I had to surrender to God.  I was heading to a Christian College and new I had to get back on track....God got my attention in a very heart wrenching way and I paid attention for the first time in a long time!
     So In the Fall of 1989 I headed off to college.  I was so excited and proud to be going to college. The first person in my family to attend and later graduate from college.  While in college I learned to think independently. Everything that I had been taught and had heard was tested. God presented many trials and tribulations not only for me but for many of my friends.  I am so thankful that I had the friends and influences of being at a Christian college and knowing there were people who cared and showed me God's Love,Mercy, and Grace.  The biggest impact on my college experience was when a horrible horrible accident happened and took the lives of two wonderful human beings.  The campus was devestated and shocked and in mourning for months.  But in all of it God got the Glory. The strength and testimony of the parents of those boys will forever be implanted in my brain. Their strength and Grace showed me what God's love and mercy is about.  In their Grief they ended up being a huge example and encouragement to many many students.  I remember that often even 20 years later. When faced with a challenge,trial or tragedy those Dear Amazing people come to my mind and I remember what they went through and how God received the GLORY in it All!!!!! God would continue to show me many many things over the next few years as I graduated from college and began my adventure called Life.  Stay tuned for the next phase and all that God has seen me through. To God Be The Glory For The Things He Has Done!!!!!!!